North Wales charity for adult survivors of childhood abuse

This is the message at the heart of a charity that provides support to adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse.

Stepping Stones North Wales, based in Wrexham, offers free, therapeutic support services to people and their families, across the region's six counties.

This year marks the 40th anniversary for the charity, and while it deals with a dark subject, the team at Stepping Stones vow to continue to raise awareness of the lifelong effects of childhood abuse and the help that is available to survivors.

Started in Wrexham in 1984 by three social workers who recognised the need, the charity held 6,400 counselling sessions last year, helping 500 people. This year there is already a waiting list for their services.

Stepping Stones' volunteer and events officer Shirley McCann has been with the charity for eight years and is both passionate and proud of what they do.

She said: "We would love not to be here 40 years on, in an ideal world we wouldn't be needed but we are still a vital service.

"People who come to us are generally looking to be heard and believed.

"They have carried this secret for many years, and men in particular can take about 40 years to disclose it.

"Often they won't have told anyone at all, and it blights their whole life, with lifelong effects - mental health, isolation, low self esteem and confidence.

"Because of this, many go on to relationships where domestic abuse is then prevalent."

Find support with Stepping Stones North Wales.

The decision to finally pick up the phone can be triggered by many things, including something on TV. One such example was a recent Channel Four documentary featuring writer and comedian Mark O'Sullivan. My Sexual Abuse: The Sitcom follows Mark as he writes and directs a sitcom about the sexual abuse he survived as a child, and the court case that resulted in the conviction of the man who abused him.

Shirley was sceptical about the show but added: "It really was so powerful and moving. He highlighted what many tell us, and encouraged men to come forward. He described it as a weight lifted off his shoulders.

"After reaching out to Mark, he has kindly offered to support our charity in a variety of ways, from news stories to podcasts."

As with most charities, funding is a constant battle. Stepping Stones has seen a 25% rise in the need for their services, and with a running cost of £50,000 a month, fundraising and donations are crucial.

The work of Stepping Stones changes lives, even saves lives. The following words are from those who have benefited from the free services at Stepping stones:

• "Stepping Stones enabled me to look at things more clearly, helped me overcome memories that were becoming unbearable. I feel a lot happier and can cope with things a lot better, by listening to me, I can now live my life. I am a very different person to the one I was at the start."

• "There's no magic cure, however counselling has helped me put things into perspective and I know I wasn't to blame for what happened to me."

• "Counselling brought me from despair to knowing my life is good and I can now achieve my goals and live a happier life with my children."

• "Recognising my fears and letting me deal with them, letting me unload and let go of some of my bad memories. I am very grateful to Stepping Stones, now life can go on."

Shirley quotes another of their clients: "Sometimes the secret can so dark it casts a gloom over my whole lifetime.

"When that secret is shared and believed, the first glimmer of light came into the dark recess of my past and burnt brighter until the warmth of hope gave me new strength."

This is ultimately what it's all about. Stepping Stones can help break the cycle of abuse, set a family free.

And it is as much about family as the individuals. The charity hosts family days out, with essential support from the National Trust, can provide food parcels and toys at Christmas. They help their clients to feel part of a community, to know they have worth.

Shirley, who also runs the charity's Next Step survivors group, adds: "We find the money because we don't want to disappoint the people who have taken 30 years to pick up the phone."

• To find out more about the work and services of Stepping Stones, or to donate, visit: steppingstonesnorthwales.co.uk